Being Vulnerable
A few years ago my teacher encouraged me to be more vulnerable, so naturally my ego took up the challenge. Whether I have grown more open and vulnerable is probably for others to say.
Since that time I have seen that there are two powers in our world. The power of the human ego and the power of the silent Presence.
When I remember to be present, the power of Presence reveals a vast and healing love that dissolves me in peace and silence.
But when I regress and allow the power of the ego to hijack me, I once again feel isolated, distracted and conflicted. John the personality, suffers.
Glimpses of deep Presence have increased as my heart has opened and I’m not as motivated nowadays to save face or seek recognition and acceptance.
In those moments when the suffering feels too much, I confess my vulnerability to God and it opens my heart.
This allows any subconscious wounds to rise up into awareness, into the light. Then out comes the repressed anger or rage, the hurt or fear, followed by tears from the heart that allow the wound to heal.
In those moments I’m very grateful for the support of the conscious, loving people who can be present with me.
As I opened to my soul, the scene was set for a deeper awakening in Presence and this awakening is an ongoing process.
I can see that the refusal to feel our pain and the pursuit of pleasure to mask it are the main reasons that we don't grow and heal as individuals and nations.
At this stage of our human evolution only suffering seems to provide enough motivation to wake us up out of our mind-made stories.
Hopefully, in time our natural love for the Self will motivate us.
Every episode of suffering is an opportunity to awaken, but when the ego resists the lesson we harden and become bitter.
If we can remain vulnerable in the face of suffering we become softer and more open to the present moment.
This acceptance awakens us, while resistance strengthens our attachment to the story that our ego is writing. The ego is designed to awaken us by testing our ability to remain present and it performs it’s job so well and is so wily that only a relationship with our inner Master ultimately saves us.
A relationship with God and my awakened teachers has enabled me to avoid being overwhelmed by the ego’s deluding energies and the maze of the mind. I was trapped in the mind for many cycles.
The 3 qualities that support awakening are vulnerability, the humility to admit that one needs guidance and the faith to trust in the guiding power of the silent Presence.
We also need to value Presence above all things and not allow the ego to devalue it.
A strong ego always has to be the boss as it is like the CEO of a company who deludes himself into believing that he also owns the company. It is only when the true owner (Presence) turns up, that the ego surrenders its control and relaxes.
In that moment of relaxation the beautiful, silent Presence comes forward in your consciousness and you may feel, “I am yours and you are mine.”
Consider how it is often only after an illness, life tragedy or painful event that we start to reflect on the way we live and then make changes for the better. Each of those moments offers an opportunity to awaken.
It has been said that “the mind is the slayer of the Real”. The mind is a useful instrument and a very good servant, as is the ego, but they are both poor masters.
The one true Master is the silent Presence dwelling within you, as you. You develop a relationship with the true Master, (we all have the same One), by learning how to be present and by valuing Presence more than your intellect, ego or other people.
The way out of the mental maze that humanity has been caught in for many generations comes as we allow ourselves to be more vulnerable, to process our feelings and to ask for guidance from within.
This is not to say that we can’t assert ourselves, because we really need to do so with unconscious people. However, when we assert ourselves consciously the recipient isn't harmed by our actions. They will only grow from the interaction.
Guidance comes in many forms. As an awakening experience, as words from an awakened person, from a passage in a book or a kind action or any one of the many ways the power of Presence responds to our open, vulnerable heart.
When asked the immense, eternal Being within us will always respond to show us the Way.
As our openness and transparency normalise we realize that everyone is vulnerable and that harmlessness and non-violence are the most essential human qualities.